20 Things To Never Say To A Married Woman
Getting married is a deeply personal choice. But once you have done that, there are some uncultured and ill-mannered people who always seem to ask annoying questions to prove their illiteracy. May be their intentions are harmless but the way it comes out, it can be psychologically harmful. I’m sure they cannot resist their nosy nature but please don’t embarrass yourselves by asking these questions to a married woman:
1. How's married life?
So, you want to know if my husband and I are having sex? Who has given you the permission to ask what’s going on inside a couple’s bedroom? Do you realize that what you are doing is known as 'voyeurism'.
So, you want to know if my husband and I are having sex? Who has given you the permission to ask what’s going on inside a couple’s bedroom? Do you realize that what you are doing is known as 'voyeurism'.
2. When are you giving the good news?
This one is my favorite questions (sarcasm intended). Whether I have a child or not, how is it that going to help you? Just because someone is married doesn’t mean that they start producing babies. People don’t get married to have sex or babies (unless you are a horny pervert). Whether they are experiencing fertility issues, trying to get financially stable or simply don’t want to have children (now or never)- it is their prerogative.
This one is my favorite questions (sarcasm intended). Whether I have a child or not, how is it that going to help you? Just because someone is married doesn’t mean that they start producing babies. People don’t get married to have sex or babies (unless you are a horny pervert). Whether they are experiencing fertility issues, trying to get financially stable or simply don’t want to have children (now or never)- it is their prerogative.
3. So, how many years?
This is a very common question that people ask especially if it is your marriage anniversary day. And, that is so rude. Why are you keeping a count of the years that I have been married for? Go, get yourself a job or develop a hobby.
This is a very common question that people ask especially if it is your marriage anniversary day. And, that is so rude. Why are you keeping a count of the years that I have been married for? Go, get yourself a job or develop a hobby.
4. Why don’t you try IVF?
From where did you earn your medical degree? Oh, you don’t have one! So, what made you think that my husband and I are infertile? Do you have supernatural powers to do that sort of a diagnosis? Then, why can’t you mind your own business?
From where did you earn your medical degree? Oh, you don’t have one! So, what made you think that my husband and I are infertile? Do you have supernatural powers to do that sort of a diagnosis? Then, why can’t you mind your own business?
6. You are still working?
Yes and why not? Marriage is not a disease that you need to quit your job for getting hospitalized. Plus, I’m freaking expensive to maintain.
Yes and why not? Marriage is not a disease that you need to quit your job for getting hospitalized. Plus, I’m freaking expensive to maintain.
7. Aren’t you visiting your in-laws?
Again, that’s none of your business. I don’t need to discuss my relationship with my in-laws with you. So, you don’t have to give me a PR advice.
Again, that’s none of your business. I don’t need to discuss my relationship with my in-laws with you. So, you don’t have to give me a PR advice.
8. Why haven’t you changed your last name?
If I haven’t done that, it’s because I don’t want to and it’s my decision. I don’t need to change my name to symbolize my marriage.
If I haven’t done that, it’s because I don’t want to and it’s my decision. I don’t need to change my name to symbolize my marriage.
9. Things must be different for you now, isn’t it?
No, it’s still the same- the exact same. People think life changes after marriage. But that’s not true. Yes, you may have some additional responsibilities and some new members in your family, but apart from that everything else is supposed to stay they way it was. There has to be a seamless transition from your usual lifestyle to the life after marriage. If that doesn’t happen then there is definitely something wrong.
No, it’s still the same- the exact same. People think life changes after marriage. But that’s not true. Yes, you may have some additional responsibilities and some new members in your family, but apart from that everything else is supposed to stay they way it was. There has to be a seamless transition from your usual lifestyle to the life after marriage. If that doesn’t happen then there is definitely something wrong.
10. Does your husband let you do that?
What do you mean? I’m not a “bechari abala nari” (damsel in distress) who needs a man to get her out of her troubles. I don’t need to take his permission to do anything. But yes, since we live in the same house, I would inform him about my plans. There is no “allowing” business here.
What do you mean? I’m not a “bechari abala nari” (damsel in distress) who needs a man to get her out of her troubles. I don’t need to take his permission to do anything. But yes, since we live in the same house, I would inform him about my plans. There is no “allowing” business here.
11. Your husband is very nice to have given you this lifestyle.
This is actually not a question but a comment that is really sickening. What do you mean by this? Are you saying that he is nice and I’m a bitch? Why are you assuming that what I’m today is because of my husband? I busted my ass off for my success and to earn my own money- it has nothing to do with my relationship status. And, if at all he has contributed to my lifestyle, it is because he wants me to have the comfort of my parents house.
This is actually not a question but a comment that is really sickening. What do you mean by this? Are you saying that he is nice and I’m a bitch? Why are you assuming that what I’m today is because of my husband? I busted my ass off for my success and to earn my own money- it has nothing to do with my relationship status. And, if at all he has contributed to my lifestyle, it is because he wants me to have the comfort of my parents house.
12. How old are you now?
I don’t know why, but married women are categorized as “Aunties”. Some people get married in their 20’s, in their 30’s and in their sixties too, it’s up to them to decide when is the right time. Marriage is not a “one-size-fits-all” kind of a commitment. Everyone has different timelines. There is no “right age” to get married. So please don’t assess someone’s age by their marital status.
I don’t know why, but married women are categorized as “Aunties”. Some people get married in their 20’s, in their 30’s and in their sixties too, it’s up to them to decide when is the right time. Marriage is not a “one-size-fits-all” kind of a commitment. Everyone has different timelines. There is no “right age” to get married. So please don’t assess someone’s age by their marital status.
13. Why are you waiting so long to have kids?
I’m not waiting but you are definitely rubbing my face in the fact that we are having difficulties. Next question, please.
I’m not waiting but you are definitely rubbing my face in the fact that we are having difficulties. Next question, please.
14. Where is your husband?
Oh no! I forgot to handcuff us together.
15. It must be a tough job doing all the household chores by yourself?
Good morning, it’s 2019 when stereotyping gender roles try not to exist. By the way, we work in partnership but thanks for the assumption.
Good morning, it’s 2019 when stereotyping gender roles try not to exist. By the way, we work in partnership but thanks for the assumption.
16. You don’t look married.
Good for me, but what does that even mean to “look married”? I don’t know how can you tell if someone is married based on how they look and most importantly what do they look like? If you are assuming that someone is married on the basis of their appearance, you are only armed with your own preconceived stereotypes and you should think about why you have these assumptions. Making quick judgements on someone is not smart.
Good for me, but what does that even mean to “look married”? I don’t know how can you tell if someone is married based on how they look and most importantly what do they look like? If you are assuming that someone is married on the basis of their appearance, you are only armed with your own preconceived stereotypes and you should think about why you have these assumptions. Making quick judgements on someone is not smart.
17. You are glowing, what’s the secret?
Cosmetics.
18. You must be very busy now.
Just because I am married, it doesn't mean that I am a frumpy loser who serves her husband 24x7. I am as busy or free as I was before. Nothing has changed. I can still do everything just like any other normal people would do.
19. Will you quit your job when you have kids?
Again, this is such a personal question. I will cross that bridge when I get there.
20. You still address your in-laws as 'uncle' and 'aunty'?
No one can ever take the place of your parents. You have been calling them mom and dad ever since you have learnt to speak. All your life you have been staying with your parents, then how can you start addressing someone else as mom and dad all of a sudden? It takes time and a woman should be given that time to decide as to when she wants to start addressing her in-laws as mom and dad.
There are endless amount of such rude questions that people ask. Your entire life will end answering them or feeling sad about it. Therefore, in this last point I would like to give examples of some generic replies (in the order of grace to bold) that can work in a variety of situations:
- Leave it. Let's talk about something else.
- I am not going to answer that question.
- Why did you ask me this question?
- I don't like to discuss this topic with anyone it doesn't concern.
- Do you realize how rude that question is?
- Did you really just ask me that?